For someone like Dame Helen Mirren who went nekkid and got her chichis out in the bathtub for NY Magazine (and looked hotter than some girls half her age) – appearing as a guest on Saturday Night Live in a lesbean clinch with a Marilyn Monroe lookalike is just another day at the office. In a series of skits for the US show, the actress rocked up playing Eleanor Roosevelt in a trailer for a factually inaccurate documentary – obv a spoof... 

Normally willing to freeze in the name of fashion, Suri Cruise – the girl who wears your monthly pay cheque on her feet – is not only wearing a coat for once *thud*, but has also ditched her custom made Loubout‘s in favour of some SNEAKERS!! Although it’s important to note that this wasn’t just a wake-up-and-go thing, she actually pre-programmed this ‘look’ from her iPad the night before, because she knew Katie... 

The more we see this picture, the more we’re traumatised by Suri‘s”I wish you into the cornfield” stare. But nice bag…  Read More →

America’s History Channel has had to scrap their $30m, 8-parter series The Kennedys, which starred Katie Holmes as Jackie O. Apparently, Maria Shriver (who is related to the Kennedys) and Caroline Kennedy (who is also related to the Kennedys) said, erm, no. The pressure was great and there is even a website that was dead against showing the dead in a bad light – or any kind of light, for that matter. The Kennedys may have been cancelled... 

Yep, that’s it, the marriage agreement to pretend Tom isn’t bumming half of Hollywood-land’s hot young boys and Katie isn’t in fact a robot programmed to say she and Cruise made Samsara Suri spawn by ACTUALLY having sex and not by a quick anonymous sperm shot up her vag – could be O for over. TomKat no more!!!! Could it be?!?! Well, according to Star Magazine, the pairs’ rumoured ‘marriage deal’ is finally... 

Katie Holmes and Victoria Beckham are BFFs, and like us, you’ve probably wondered if their friendship had anything to do with TomKat trying to recruit the former spice-girl (and her hot ass hubby) into their religious cult, aka, Scientology. Just in case you’ve been hungover in a portaloo somewhere in Uzbekistan after your hen/stag night, Tom Cruise is responsible for introducing many famous Scientologists to his crazy church, including... 

Google search tells me this is apparently a Louis Vuitton frock on robot Holmes, which is weird, because it has all the makings of an old leftover piece of material my Nan would have used to make curtains, matching pelmets, upholster an armchair AND STILL have enough to run off a nifty little toaster cover. Bless Katie for not having too many movies or miniseries to bore the bitch out of us talking about these days. But still….on the rare... 

Some folk will tell you this is Tom Cruise in costume whilst filming the pile of sh*t nobody wants to see, Mission Impossible 4. But it’s actually how the gayface disguises himself for all those trips he and John Travolta make at midnight when he’s slid Katie’s robot switch to ‘off’ and Samsara (The Ring) Suri is tucked up in her hairball. Military seems to be his thing, so we imagine he likes to dish out orders and... 

Yes that’s right…she looks like Samsara from The Ring. But when you’re Mamma’s a transformer whose replaced her legs with a plank of wood and your Eenie Meenie Papa’s donned that sheep disguise again….it’s no wonder the little spawn is a strange little f*cker.  Read More →