QUICK! Someone get GaGa a contract with LadyShave, otherwise her pubic minge will sprout even further than her bewbs and end up taking small children and oompa loompah’s with it causing Elaine Page to run for cover…and a tuna whiff dust-cloud that could wipe us all out!! Or, alternatively…..bless GaGa for recycling Beyo’s old weaves. Either way, the crazy lil’ bish has now ditched steak frocks in favour of body-wigs,... 

The off licences will be fully stocked again, pharmacies won’t have their ‘closed sign’ in the window and mothers with prams can cross the road again….yes folks, Lilo’s back in rehab! And in a bid to make us all see she and scrammy really mean it this time…here’s the coke-whore standing on a balcony, reading a book about the power of rest….no really. Wearing a loose fitting dress (so she can’t... 

If you’ve been wondering why Courtney Love looks like she hasn’t vomited all over her face whilst heavily sedated for once lately…then read on… Apparently junkie love has rejuvenated her looks by loving herself. Yes, you heard us right, LOVING HERSELF. The Hole front-laydee said: “I’m in a love thing. Loving myself, foremost – trying anyway – and chanting [and meditating] as always.” Chanting??!! WTF? Does she think... 

Oh, someone just give her a lethal injection and that’ll be that. Lilo, the end. The coke-addicted tramp was back in jail (and no we won’t be showing more mugshots because we’re like OVER the orange jumpsuits eating the back of our eyeballs) on Friday evening. *shocked* No, not really. News broke that Judge Elden Fox had refused Lohan’s right to bail, after she committed a misdemeanor offense (got off her crack-face, again),...