To Mr Chaz (below)…..at the 25th anniversary celebration for GLAAD in the US last night (4 Dec).

Share This Post If You Love It!:

]]> http://www.showbiz-i.com/2010/12/05/sewing-a-vajeen-shut-never-looked-so-good-huh/feed/ 0 http://www.showbiz-i.com/2010/12/05/whilst-michael-douglas-undergoes-treatment-for-throat-cancer/ http://www.showbiz-i.com/2010/12/05/whilst-michael-douglas-undergoes-treatment-for-throat-cancer/#comments Sun, 05 Dec 2010 23:34:27 +0000 Sam http://www.showbiz-i.com/?p=31737 CZJ goes out for a quick fag with woofie….

Angelina‘s vajeen skimming inner thigh inking is obviously still causing pash-fests in the Jolie-Pitt household, if these pics of her and charcoal layered Brad out to dinner at Guy Savoy (fancy Parisian restaurant) are anything to go by.

Note Jolie’s messy-after-a-shag-before-the-chaffeur-arrived hair, that blissful after a quickie smile that says this is B&A’s ‘quality time’ away from their United Colours of Benetton brood; and Brad’s just got that smug smirk going on which says ‘Yes I’m fucking one of the world’s hottest bishes, deal with it losers’.

But we’re not jealous you see, because we spotted Ange’s boney claw hand clutching at her clutch…..and we suddenly had all these visions of making love with an alien or other such sci-fi based creature (which to be fair, take the hair away, and Ange could quite easily pass for)…..and it made us glad her we don’t fancy her. Much.

Nicole Kidman is “less interested” in fashion now she has a child. Apparently.

The Aussie actress who has a two-year-old daughter Sunday Rose with country music strummer Keith Urban, as well as two adopted (and quite fugly) children, Bella, 18, and Connor, 15, with ex-hubby and gayface Tom Cruise – admits she was more style conscious when she was younger, and says being a parent has made her fashion-sense simpler.

Or as we prefer to call it: shit.

Kidman’s face registered no movement whatsoever as she said: “Because I have a child now, I dress much simpler these days. When I was in my 20s the thing I loved was fashion. I loved to get really dressed up.

“I think I’m less interested in fashion now and more interested in simple chic. I still think it’s important to have some sense of ‘not letting yourself go’ though. You’ve got to make an effort, even after you have a child and even after you’re married.”

And if dressing like a chambermaid with a pot belly (and E.T. like neck) is what she calls ‘simple chic’, then she’s got that look down to a tee…or should we say…tea (caddy..and remember to refill those shortbread biscuits we like please).

This is how she looks in December 2010….photoshop much?

Tis’nt tit amazing how you can wipe years off your face and body with a simple ‘edit’ button, as the designer behind these two new Jane Fonda DVDs, Jane Fonda: Prime Time Walkout and Jane Fonda: Prime Time Fit & Strong obviously did; her first fitness releases since Jane Fonda’s Workout in 1982. (we’re thinking Jane obviously bunged him a few extra dollars to make her look, oh, 40-something).

The 72 year-old actress (see?!) told People Magazine: “I’m very excited to be back in the fitness business.

“I know from experience and from my research how critical it is for boomers and seniors to be physically active. Even if they’ve never exercised in their lives, now’s the time and my programs are a good, safe way to do it.”

And why not. But if you are the other side of 50 (hellooooooooooo out thereeeeeee *waves into the distance*), make sure you get some incontinence pants first eh….you don’t want any little accidents on the floor whilst you stretch.

Strange hobby, but apparently Jennifer Lopez used to like exposing her vadge in public in the 1990s, according to her fame-whore of an ex-hubby, Ojani Noa.

Obviously still not bitter about their split, Noa is ensuring more details about the couples alleged sex tapes go public (he’s been trying unsuccessfully to release the tapes for years), but Lopez’s legal team have prevented him once already.

Now he’s at it again, and claims to have hours of footage of Lopez riding a scooter pant-less (as you do), exposing her vajeen to ‘numerous by-standers’. For some this naughtiness would be on a level with say, reading a Jilly Cooper novel or Mills & Boon, where somewhere in a hay barn (fantasy like), you lay on a hail bail, sweating with anticipation, with a hand down your kecks, whilst the stable boy pumps you from behind.

According to Radar Online, who spoke to Noa’s lawyer, Ed Meyer, there are 21 hours of Lopez’s vadge; but no full sex. Darn it.

We imagine after this next attempt at making money out of his ex, Noa will go back under the rock he came out from under…….which won’t be anywhere near Jenny’s block.

No…she’s let herself down in the name of fashion (sort of) and warm clothing this time.

First she wears a REAL FUR and tweed mix coat to Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade which looked like someone just superglued leftover pelts wherever they fancied (but kudos for working that turban)…

And now she rocks up at New York’s Rockefeller Center for the annual switching on of the christmas lights in this…

It’s white….has a silly hood….looks like a costume in Monsters Inc and belongs in a wheelie bin.

But if you read most of the reports about this get-up, the two words that crop up most are ‘snow queen’.

Bless. But no. We’re thinking it’s more like this really…

Share This Post If You Love It!:

]]> http://www.showbiz-i.com/2010/12/01/kylie-fur-fugly-and-warm-things-like-that/feed/ 0 http://www.showbiz-i.com/2010/12/01/peaches-to-be-agony-aunt-we-piss-ourselves-larfin/ http://www.showbiz-i.com/2010/12/01/peaches-to-be-agony-aunt-we-piss-ourselves-larfin/#comments Wed, 01 Dec 2010 16:33:49 +0000 james http://www.showbiz-i.com/?p=31443

Not content with being one of our ‘most annoying c*nts of the year’, Bob Geldof’s spawn, Peaches has apparently landed her own agony aunt TV series, helping troubled teenagers deal with their personal problems. *looks gobsmacked*

The new show, called OMG! Totally Peaches, which will no doubt make us want to yank our eyeballs out with our bare hands, is to be aired on ITV2 in the Spring; and we just can’t wait to hear her pearls of wisdom, which probably won’t include speeding down a motorway and crashing into the gates of Disneyland or getting off your face on drugs and then posing ‘wasted chic’ like with some random fuck.

Oh, and then Ultimo dropped her for being a wacked out mess, which is why we’re wondering how she’s now deemed ‘together’ enough to give advice to impressionable youngsters on how to live your life. Hmm…

Peaches told The Sun: “I’m so excited. I can’t wait to find out what’s on the minds of young people today.”

Probably sex and how to get a free council house by producing babies of varying skin tones we’d imagine…

Oh, and did we mention this is also the girl who married a rock singer in Las Vegas, tattooed his name to her arm and then divorced him 7 months later?

Yeah, something tells us she’s not about to knock Jeremy Vile off his very smug perch just yet and perhaps they should re-name the new series, ‘OMG! Totally Shit’.

Jim Carrey is currently promoting I Love You Phillip Morris in the US and in a recent interview with Parade Magazine, the rubber faced actor dished the dirt on sucking face with scottish crumpet Ewan McGregor.

Carrey said of the script:

“There are very few scripts that I would come across that I would pay to do and this was one of them. I didn’t mind taking a big salary cut. I’m here to do extreme and interesting things. I liked the guy I played and I hated him. But the one thing that always stayed with me was the idea that he was relentless about love, and all of us understand that. I’m a desperate man myself.”

And on snogging the hottest thing to come out of Scotland since Rod Stewart‘s dayglo speedos, Carrey said:

“A dream come true. I mean, look at the guy. I have to say, he is a great kisser. As Ewan said, ‘When you’re kissing another guy it can get a little prickly.’ Actually, you had to put out of your mind your own sexual preference and just try to understand that you were loving another person who just happens to be a guy. It wasn’t about male or female, love is love.”

This is where we would love to say that off set in Jim’s trailer the pair practised their scenes by bumming the arses off each other and group shagging ex-spa boys (all booked by John Travolta).

But alas. That didn’t happen.

And just in case you haven’t seen the movie already (tis funny) here’s the trailer….

So Ben Affleck was a guest on the Ellen Degeneres show this week in the US and the actor is either a lazy, male chauvinist arse….or just a lazy, male chauvinist arse.

Affleck told DeGeneres he prefers his ‘domestic-minded partner’ (commonly known as ‘knackered out wife’) Jennifer Garner, to take care of all the Christmas decorating and shopping.

The star said:

“I’m not particularly proud of it, but it’s a bit of a ‘50s thing I guess. Because my wife is so capable, and because I’m less so, she does a lot of that work and I kind of root her on.

“I’m encouraging”.

Some would call this ‘old fashioned’. But we’re thinking ‘gun’, ‘santa outfit’ and ‘early hours of the morning when he’s asleep’.

Affleck then tried to make out he puts a lot of thought into shopping for Garner’s pressie, saying:

“It takes her as much energy and effort to buy like the 20 gifts we’re going to buy other people, as it does to buy her gift. I spend the whole time, fretting about that and being nervous and hoping she likes that”.

Sheesh, it must be really hard directing his assistant around Target, judging by the way Jennifer dresses (casual much?).

So here Jennifer love, we’re sending you Elmo with a lil’ gift from us, for having to put up with a git like Ben….