Oh what will the turkey’s do this Christmas without their heads being lopped off by Bernard Matthews, the most famous turkey killer in the whole of…..Norfolk…and England-land. Cause he’s dead…innit. Just today, like. So here, in tribute to the man who coined the phrase ‘bootiful’….is a vid which brings all our childhood memories flooding back; the ones where your mum force-fed you turkey drummers with... 

This is Megan Fox right? No? WTF?! It’s taken us all of…well….5 minutes to stop laughing at this Angelina Jolie comic book, which has all the makings of a blind art student trying to make some spare cash to help him see again; and when he does….he’ll want to re-do this character pic we think. The new comic is ‘the biography of a modern-day sex symbol, coming to life in technicolor’. Apparently. Hang on, we’ve... 

Despite a festive red cape, leopard print boot shoes, a can of hairspray and an injection of plumpers before she stepped out of the people carrier; nobody wanted to see Amanda Holden turn on the christmas lights in Belgravia last night. Expecting a huge crowd of Britain’s Got Talent and whatever other TV shows she stars in, fans….Holden’s botox stood for pictures next to the slightly crap lighting display which looked to be about... 

The Morgana Show… A sketch-based comedy show which made us actually snort with laughter and leave with chest pains; because Morgana Robinson is just SO FUNNY IT HURTS. Characters include Gilbert, a sweet but slightly socially inept teenage boy making his own web-TV show helped by his granddad; rival TV news reporters bitching at one another before going live; and ‘The Hicks’, a redneck family who kidnap people (think Texas Chainsaw... 

Don’t tell us you’ve not thought there was a slight gayface subtext going on in Harry Potter? And here to prove we were right all along is this YouTube spoof trailer, which hints there was something more than friendship going on between the ‘lil wizard and Dumbledore. *raises eyes in a knowing fashion*  Read More →

This is Mariah Carey. The Mariah Carey that is pregnant. Like. Here she is in a vid promoting her lifestyle brand on The Home Shopping Network. Badly. Face says ‘I can’t control myself’. Boobs say ‘Melons. Big Melons’. It’s Mimi’s trip through shoe-porn heaven (think blue screens and shaky body parts with some tart-fest gold heels; and is also full of foot doubles (we assume, because surely she can’t... 

Jocelyn Wildenstein’s face used to serve as a *warning* to never go too far with the ole’ surgery knife and every other cosmetic procedure which could turn you from a completely normal looking person; into one of Leigh Francis’ rubber-faced caricatures on Bo Selecta. Forget Heidi Montag’s near-Wildenstein 10-ops in one day or the entire cast of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills‘ frozen faces with that group-bunnies-in-the-headlights-look;... 

These are the bitches who have replaced Madonna as the faces of the forthcoming S/S 2011 ad campaign for the Italian design duo, Dolce & Gabbana. Madge is at this moment pacing the room in no make-up, wondering if it was these un-retouched shots that scared off Stefano et Domenico in their ice-cream van and made them turn to this bunch of teeth and wigs at least half her age. From left to right; the Victoria’s Secret knicker models are... 

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“I say old boy, pass me the Pimms whilst I keep one eye on the cricket match and the other on those ladies nibbling their iced buns”….is what the cat would have said if he could talk, but he can’t, innit, so we’ll just say this rather bloody marvellous pussy all trussed up is one of many that feature in United Bamboo‘s 2011 cat calendar, which made our poker faces crack up. This is a CATWALK (gerrit) of another...