Kevin Bacon proves it’s possible to whore yourself out for cash and still maintain your artistic integrity in his latest TV ad for Logitech Revue below…

Go Kevin…unlike Julia Roberts, who dressed up as Botticelli’s Venus whilst sipping a coffee (that would be Lavazza then), smiling, winking and pocketing 1.5 million dollars for it. Speak much? Waste of money much?

Yo, listen up bishes (but not those of you who sold Kanye‘s penis to various online gossip sites, you’ve had your fun now)…

The rapper has graced us with his platinum coated words of wisdom yet again, and this time he’s described who his perfect lady would be….you ready?

“I’m a hopeless romantic and I’m looking and trying to decide who the mother of my child will be. It’s not going to be based off a whim of being in love; she has to bring a certain level to the table. I want to be married, I want that super dope counterpart, that one woman, but she has to be super-fresh, super-smart and not overwhelmed, because being with me is gonna be a job (laughs). She can’t be overwhelmed by her career. I’ll find her, maybe I’ll be 38… maybe I’m not fully who I am yet, maybe that’s why I haven’t found her… The main quality is that you know that this person will ride or die for you. Whether she’s mad at you, whether she’s with you or not, she still loves you, she still bigs you up in any circle. She doesn’t talk down about you to other people. That’s the main thing I need.”

Hmm..

It’s the ‘Ride or Die” that gets us…ride what? His cock, his bike…*signals for help* and bang goes our chance of playing the happy wife, because we just can’t do that not talking shit about him thing. It comes so easily to us. So we’re off to hang our heads in shame and feel worthless because we’ll never be part of Kanye’s world. *sobs*

You will watch this…..and then you will want to buy a cat.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA is what we said when we saw this pic of the singer outside a London restaurant, with a faux mustache.

And there you were thinking it was just a case of teenage bumfluff….or badly applied lipliner.

Goes nice with the wig and false eyebrows though.

Move over Gaga and Beyonce in “Telephone” with all their product placement pajazzling, now it’s Ke$ha‘s turn to prove she’s hard up for cash, in the video for her latest tune “We R Who We R.

Forget the blatant dis-respecting of the yankee flag, as the singer dances around in nothing but her kecks and the ole stars and stripes (slut); we’ve spotted two products being blatantly worn/swigged for the ‘buy me cause Ke$ha loves this’ factor – including Baby-G watches and Revolucion Tequila (natch).

And there’s also a third plug for the dating site Plenty of Fish. Watch Ke$ha video…have boyfriend…or girlfriend. Obviously.

It wouldn’t be so bad if the director had subtly incorporated these products into the video, but instead it’s like a ‘HELLO WE’RE HERE’ infomercial; showing the singer checking her wrist to see the time and partygoers behind her knocking back tequila with a big ole fat label on the bottle. Guess the product!! NOT.

Oh and the dating site thing…yeah, apparently in the real world we would go out, check the time, get pissed on a heavy liqueur and then surf the internet to find a shag.

Actually, this is probably spot on, so kudos to Ke$ha, apart from she missed the bit where we’re slumped over a garden wall, wretching up our insides whilst shout-singing ‘I did it myyyyyyyyy waaaaayyyyyyy’.

Eva Longoria…..pretty from the front, apart from her deformed legs, which seem to have graced the front cover of a magazine called Access Direct TV, whoever the fuck that is….anyone??

With a sleb this famous on your front cover, sloppy and tardy Photoshop is a no-no, or so you would think anyway…

But as you can see from her legs, particularly downwards from her knee on the left, it’s a case of broken matchsticks…noodles or just someone being pissed in charge of the re-touch tool. And it made us laugh it did.

We’ve heard of stars looking slimmer, but we’re pretty darn sure Eva wasn’t aware her calves and ankles would be shaved off: and what’s with the vajeen skimming frock again? Is it just us, or is Eva fond of being able to bend over and make us scream of late? But the bow….THE BOW?! WTF? Does it twist like a propeller and send her off into the sleb-os-sphere. Course not, that’s just us being silly arses.

Anyway, we don’t much like the dress and whoever styled the red ribbon around her pins could have at least opened their eyes.

Basically what we’re saying is, this cover is shit. The End.

With her whore-like red wig and slutty fishnets, Rihanna strikes a pose or two for the January issue of GQ UK.

And it’s precisely these kind of poses that the singer says people are getting a tad bored of (yes), telling the magazine:

“Girls don’t like to see other girls dressed sexy all the time. I get that. People are always seeing my ass out and my boobs out.

“It can get a little irritating.”

Yes Rihanna, we’re like SO over the day and night-time prossie chic and we’re sure there’s more things with legs, arms and crotches to wear from your pile of PR freebies?!

Oh, and tis’nt it clever the way the magazine runs with the headline ‘Rihanna turns GQ red hot’…and then turns some of its other cover fonts a bit red, like. Give that design department an award. #sarcasm

WE HEART ANNE (if even she is a crap dancer)…the camp factor is amazeballs.

As the release says, the gym “will be a reflection of Madonna’s point of view and will reflect her input on every detail including music space, light and other design cues. Madonna’s touch will be everywhere”.

The big unveiling is on November 29 and promises “the very best in innovative training methods, including state of the art cardiovascular equipment, and an array of classes including yoga and capoeira”.

We’re imagining toyboys on hand in skimpy, bulging tight lycra to help you develop sinewy arms that look like they’ve been gnawed at by wild animals; thighs that could crack open a bottle of Vita CoCo with one twist and a stomach so taught even Kylie’s botoxed left eyebrow is jealous. So come work out with Madge. Sort of.

We’re loving the campaign advertising gumpf which says ‘No Sweat, No Candy’ – which basically means bish is going to pump u up while she pumps more money into the bank of MawMaw so she can buy more kids.

We HEART.