Ooof, just stepped out the people carrier and picked up a book and posed did we? Yes. This is Katie Price in some sort of garden-centre-day-out get-up, composing of a furry hat, an oversized ‘eaten too much sunday lunch’ jumper, shiny leggings and one of those suede waistcoats with a fur lining that Next does a roaring trade in. Then there’s the heels…ok, not very suitable for a wander round the outdoor shrubs, but let’s... 

Mainly because it runs with the headline.. ‘KE$HA….AIN’T GOING NOWHERE’. We don’t get her, we don’t want to get her, she’s Lady GaGa’s poor neighbour (who dresses like she rummages through Gag’s charity bags) and she’s obviously blowin’ off various record producers to sell records (because they’re like, shit) and without the re-touching and slap, she could easily pass for a 70-something... 

Courtney Love has tried to smoke some diamonds thinking they were rocks of a different kind and before she had a chance to twitpic her crack face with the melted down bling; she’s been sued. Jacob & Co. claim they lent Court’s jewellery which has never been returned. The celebrity jewellery company says they lent Love several items worth between $113 -700 and they’re now suing her for their return. The suit alleges the singer borrowed... 

And why not. To celebrate the show’s 50th anniversary (cause that would be gold, innit), actress Helen Flanagan, who plays the street’s heavin’ vadge, Rosie Webster, has gone and been sprayed all golden, like, in an homage to Bond girl Shirley Eaton (who was also painted in the shimmering colour in the 1964 movie Goldfinger. Can you see what they did there?). The actress appears in the latest issue of Closer discussing her weight... 

You may have seen this already, but if not, then you can see it now. Natch. It’s RiRi, in possibly one of the most colourful videos we’ve ever seen (grab your shades!) for “Who’s That Chick,” by David Guetta, featuring the singer as part of the Doritos Late Night campaign. The clip (below) shows the singer on the ‘dark side’ on a throne, as bats fly out from behind her; and later shimmying with backup dancers, as scorpions... 

If you’re going to sweep up the streets of Hollywood-land as part of your community service, might as well do it in style eh? And that’s exactly what shamed heir-head Paris Hilton did on Friday, after being ordered to volunteer 200 hours of her time as part of a plea deal which stems from her Vegas drug bust in August. Remember? the one with the Chanel handbag full of coke which she protested was someone else’s, despite being... 

Just a thought… But those memorabilia makers (another words, commemorative Royal tatt) are missing a trick. We’ve yet to hear about or see Wills and Kate vuvuzela’s and what better way to show our appreciation of the bride and groom to be, than with a racket that will deafen them as they step out of Westminster Abbey (or wherever), and cause Prince Phillip to utter something un-PC in German. So we’re starting the campaign... 

You could be forgiven for thinking Felicity Kendal acquired that shiner from Vincent Simone’s fancy hands during a Flamenco practise; but nope. The former Good Life actress is just a piss-head and walked into a kitchen cupboard at 3am after one too many vino’s. WE HEART. The Strictly Come Dancing contestant had this to say about necking the soave (pronounce is SO-AVE, it’s funnier): ‘I had a couple of glasses of wine at home... 

First of all, we were staring at this picture of Karen Gillan from Doctor Who for quite some time before it dawned on us who Karen Gillan is. She’s off Doctor Who. Now, as well as being off Doctor Who and off ginger, she’s also now going to be off David Baddiel’s directorial debut, Romeo and Brittney. Which is about a time-travelling teenager from New Jersey. The most horrific thing about that last sentence is the following collection of words:... 

Far be it from us to criticise Liza Minnelli….J’ADR, especially this tune she did with The Pet Shop Boys that makes us go all John Barrowman after a few malibu and pineapples (basically, starry eyed and twirling our hips like there’s no tomorrow, whilst looking like a twat). But even we were shocked when we clocked this pic of the legendary diva who we still can’t believe ACTUALLY allowed David Gest to inspect the inner workings...