*Hint* ….he could be the public schoolboy in the fetching blazer and deck shoes on the right? Yes, they set fire to waste bins, cars, homes, businesses – like the evil flames which set fire to my ears whenever I hear Cher Lloyd sing. They looted shops and ran off into the night with flat screens, the latest K-Swiss and in one case of a woman in Brixton who could now give Nicki Minaj a run for her money – a complete set of weaves. All... 

We feel more sorry for the girl on her phone, walking into the airport behind Lady GahGah, who so obviously didn’t expect to be papped in her “not for public consumption” clothes. Please, if you’re going to travel in comfort clothing to the airport, don’t be wearing leggings if you have knees that insist on meeting each other every five minutes and thighs that remind people of that Iberico Ham joint they had problems... 

Serena Williams has dick crusher thighs and you just know she flipped the c*nt switch when she told the stylist responsible for her take on ‘Tranny In Pink’, “I swear to God, make this shit fit or I’m gonna take this ball and shove it up your god damn blowhole.” She’s threatening for a good time. For some people that’s a chat-up line right there. But she’s too much man for me. When I look at the tennis... 

Last year Helen Mirren kicked the liquid cement face of Megan Fox to the curb when she beat the actress to scoop Esquire magazine’s Sexiest Woman Alive competition. And now Helen baby is back, this time wearing nothing but a Union Jack flag for a shoot with the magazine. Hur and Rah! Since we usually only see 20-somethings with their ass cheeks glued to their chest around here, it’s nice to finally kind-of-peek at some organic and well-seasoned... 

*Music from “Halloween” plays in background* Kris Kardashian - MotherHo Pimp to a brood of supersize asses – recently passed her face through a photoshop machine in order to keep up with husband Bruce Jenner‘s faces - who if I REALLY squint my eyes when I see him, makes me hum the theme song to Twin Peaks. He’s a kindofbutnot Kyle MacLachlan lookalikee. Well, Kyle after a block of dry ice fell on his face. E! and... 

To find out everything you ever wanted to know about the influence of the 18th Century on modern fashion, you may want to visit an exhibition currently being held at The Palace of Versailles, in collaboration with the Musée Galliera in Paris. From haute couture to ready-to-wear, the exhibition captures fifty key looks by designers from the 20th century, which reflect 18th century dress – with archives from couture houses and the Galliera’s... 

This is the vid (below) for JLS‘ new track, She Makes Me Wanna featuring someone called Dev. Where’s Sunita, that’s what we wanna know. If you like your boys served up in fluoro and pastels, synchronised dancing to within an inch of their backflips and Aston prancing around on some rocks in Miami with his top off, then this video has your name written all over it. Just remember to wipe your computer screen afterwards. Oh, and thanks... 

Judging by this picture of Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake on the cover of ELLE U.S for the August issue, the rumours about the Black Swan hot slut washing Macaulay Culkin off her no-no with Timbers’ saliva is most definitely, probably, TRUE. Maybe. This is the type of pose that says “yes we indulged in a spot of sport fuckery”. Even Mila’s eyebrows agree. Of course Justin is allegedly back to allowing Jessica Biel smell... 

Normallyquitehotactor Adrian Grenier looks like the Disney prince of your genital’s dreams here, BUT LOOK! He was JUST LIKE THAT IN SCHOOL TOO! THAT HOT BITCH! Above is Adrian’s way of marking the release of the final season Entourage trailer, with a photo he posted to his Facebook page. Try not to spend too long photoshopping your legs around his neck. But do take note of how he mastered straightening irons at the age of 16. Oh, and... 

Part of me is really wishing for Baba Beckham to be a butchie who only wears toddler Timbs and Dockers and requests A&F polo tops to be made in size xxxxxx small. Purely because I just want to see Posh‘s scowl when the child she conceived with David while screaming out “GIVE ME A FUCKING GIRL THIS TIME”, kicks away the custom-made 6-inch Loubouties she placed at the end of her cot. This is Viccie Posh either indulging in a spot...