If you come across any sad looking rats on the streets of London today, leave them to grieve – they’re all in mourning for their leader Pete ‘Dreamy’ Doherty, who’s currently serving a six month sentence for cocaine possession - and could then be heading to another clink in Germany-land soon.

German prosecutors have said they want to press charges over a music shop burglary which would mean Mr Skanky could be banged up for a further five years. Doherty claims he’s had the part of his brain which processes what he did the night before gnawed away by rats, therefore meaning he can’t remember the bit where he smashed a window and then ran off leaving lots of records and guitars strewn around the city of Regensburg’s main square. Allegedly.

Never mind the sewers being full of weeping rats while Sienna Miller‘s poo floats by with a wedding ring in it; what will the giant flying alcoholic ants suck on when they need a fix during these hazy summery days?! Pete in jail = all the bed bugs in the London hotels he’s ever slept in being unemployed too. Sad times.

So let’s all look at a pic of Pete at his best (above), and mourn the loss of both our sight and smell (yeah, the old man on the bus next to you didn’t just burp and fart again). This image will send a shot of lust straight to your loins that even God can’t control, it’s like a burning itching down below that just needs to be scratched…