I’m SO OVER Rihanna‘s red hair and even more so after seeing it clashing with her VERY colourful Christian Dior haute couture number last night – which she teamed up with aqua blue heels. If I was mid bogle during a carnival, holding a Pina Colada, this dress would’ve worked. But it didn’t, and those shoes just make me think of a hideous Barry M nail varnish I used to wear in college (when I thought it was cool, obv).

It may be Stella McCartney, but this colour on Radio One jock Jo Whiley, is just draining the life out of her. The words ‘spray’ and ‘tan’ spring to mind – and teaming up such a slinky dress up with black patent hooker heels instantly transported me to a late 90s Torremelinos disco….and lots of corn beef legs.

Avril Lavigne‘s Julien Macdonald mop frock was the last of the singer’s problems last night, which she tried to rescue with Gina shoes and Glynneth B jewellery – but the highlighter pen hair shows she still refuses to give up the emo meets skater girl look and therefore, I’m JUST NOT INTERESTED.

Former Eastender Preeya Kalidis looks like she woke up yesterday and thought ‘today I’m going to dress like Miss DeeLite (groove is in the hearrrrrrrrt), a tranny version of Kim Kardashian and an extra in an exercise DVD, all rolled into one.

Sugababe Heidi Range obviously had nothing to wear and did that rifle through your wardrobe thing, and found a jumpsuit, a belt and a random pair of heels to throw together – rocking up looking like the type of women you see hanging around luxe bars in London waiting for a rich man to whisk them away….to Hainault via Newbury Park. Her left toes are also trying to make a break for freedom, practically crawling down the red carpet…can we hear an Ewwwww!

Because bad things happen to good people; or in the case of these two (Kyla from I’m A Celebrity and Mark from The Only Way Is Essex), bad things happened to those of us who had the misfortune to see them (like getting drunk and falling over..bad bad bad). She looks like a cake decoration for a hooker’s birthday party and WHAT IS HE WEARING ON HIS FEET? Gym pumps on the red carpet *shivers* worn with grey chino cargo pants and a waistcoat?????!!!! Seriously, I expected David Essex to pop out with his guitar at any minute.

And finally, two trannies rocked up, but I still don’t know who they are….

Kate Lawson – Fashion Editor, Showbiz-i

Follow Kate @katelawson_