Jesus…..Jesus who?

Madonna‘s latest toyboyf, 24-year-old Brahim Zaibat has taken time out of his busy schedule servicing M’s vajeen, to speak about his relationship with the singer.

Zaibat has laughed off the longstanding rumours that Madge is a complete bitch, by revealing she is just an”ordinary woman” and not a “monster”. Bless. Best he enjoys his time with Maw Maw before she opens the door and kicks him out into a road somewhere, with the help of a very sharp and pointy stiletto.

The French dancer, whose penis replaced a Brazilian, has also spoken of the moment he first met the star, saying:

“She’s an extraordinary artist and world famous, of course, but a woman above all. [When I met her I said] ‘Hi, how are you?’

“It wasn’t like meeting a monster! She wasn’t the first well-known female singer I’d met, you know. I’m not saying things have gone very fast since then, but things have happened in order.”

Funny how Madge always picks foreign boyfriends – must be that ‘just get down there and do what you have to and don’t speak thing’. We can relate.

So what did the Frenchie have to say about being around a woman old enough to be his grandmother (her hands are old enough to be dead):

“I’m learning a great deal. I’m an apprentice!”

Ok, that’s a case of #TMI