RIP OUR EYE BALLS OUT NOW why don’t you?!

Because this picture of Katie Waissel’s nan in her grots and some serious flappage of the ole tum, must surely be one of, if not, THE WORST image of a codger hooker we’ve ever seen (although Wayne Rooney would probably think she’s cracking).

Chinny Weasel’s nan has semi-stripped (gah if she went completely starkers) for New! magazine, and yes Max Clifford is doing his best to make us forget the unpopular X Factor contestant and David Coulthard look-a-like; and vote for Grand Dame Cecilia Bird and her floppy vadge instead. Erm…we give that zero points. And we didn’t even need Louis to do his usual “Dermot I like this girl alot, I just don’t know what to do” voting mouth froth.

Apparently Bird herself has spoken out to deny she’s charging too high a price at £250 for a roll in the sack with her wrinkled nipples, telling the magazine:

“I haven’t done anything wrong. It’s a free world and I haven’t killed anybody. I’m just trying to make a living.”

And just to make us wretch like never before, she also said:

“I usually like younger men but I would be happy if Wagner paid me a visit!”

We’re imagining sweaty matted hair, the smell of old spice, vadge and foreign sausages and some painful grunts and moans (and that’s just the staff in the Travel lodge listening up against the wall).

And oops, there goes our lunch.