Babeeeeeeeeeez and pupeeeeeeeeeeez that’s what!

Yes, in tiara towers, Elton and David welcomed a new baby named Zachary Jackson Levon Furnish-John (sure that’s a long enough name??!!) into the world on on 25 December. The 7lb, 15oz WAH WAHHHHH was born in California via a surrogate Mum (they must’ve got advice from Ricky….and Cristiano).

In a statement the joint papa’s said: “We are overwhelmed with happiness and joy at this very special moment. Zachary is healthy and doing really well, and we are very proud and happy parents”

And why not. Bless.

Meanwhile, in chav terrace, Katie Price‘s gay married bestie’s Gary Cockerill and Phil Turner also welcomed a new arrival; a baby puppy thing, making it the couple’s third wuff, with Gary writing on Twitter:

“Don’t worry tweeps, our baby is a King Charles Cav puppy called Lola, not gone down the same the same path as Elton John yet!!”.

Does anyone care? No, not really.

Oh clap clap to ITV for going head to head with Will and Kate’s wedding spectacular by announcing Coronation Street is to have its first gay wedding next year.

Remember Sean’s ex-boyf Marcus? Yes? No? (Picture above, with lots of brown jumpers in). Well anyway, they reunite and then decide Eileen doesn’t have enough lodgers at her place already, so they set up home there and live gayly ever after. Hurrah.

Charlie Condou (Marcus) left the famous cobbles in 2008 because he was a jealous boyf (oh, don’t you just hate that type) but will return from London and woo Sean (Anthony Cotton) again.

A Corrie insider said: “Bringing back Charlie is seen as big platform for him and in particular Antony who is well liked and admired by the boss. When Marcus turns up in Weatherfield in the spring he is desperate to rekindle his romance. But having hurt him once, Sean is apprehensive until Marcus offers him commitment, with future storylines leading to Corrie’s first same-sex marriage.”

Street boss Phil Collinson also said:“Coronation Street is an amazing platform. You can really make a difference to the way people think – and this show has always had a gay sensibility.”

We’d rather have seen Norris and Ken get it on behind the sherbert fountains when the Kabin’s re-built, but sigh….we’ll just make do with Sean then (let’s just hope he takes that feckin sweatband off his wrist before he says “I’m free”, we mean “I do”.)

James Van Der Beek’s forehead has given birth. Bless.

The actor, who Katie Holmes still loves (how could she not after all those years in Dawson’s Creek saying big sentences); has spawned a baby, well, his wife has anyhoo.

The actor and wife Kimberly are showing off their wah-wah thing in the photo above, and in case you’re interested, she’s (yes it’s a girl, despite the shirtless shot) called Olivia – and Van der Beek explains why he chose the name: ‘There’s an olive tree in Israel that’s special to us… we spent time under it when we first met in Israel’.

Uh huh, you get the picture.

No, not that Ricky, although if Sid Owen wanted to release some tunes we’re sure he’d look hot (if podgy fellas in Ted Baker v-necks are your thang).

Tis in fact the new album artwork for Ricky Martin‘s ”Musica, Almo, Sexo”, which translated means Music, Soul and Chorizo.

There’s noting better than Christmas Camel toes and being pissed in the street slurring ‘Silent Night’ at mannequins in shop windows thinking they can actually hear you, and getting right angry at ‘em when they don’t respond.

But if you think nothing can top that, then think again…

Beckham and his balls of gold, frankincense and myrrh might be getting a knighthood.

Bookies are reckoning that the footie star and husband to Posh, Britain’s Next Top Moody Bitch (after Liz Hurley when she’s read a text from Shane Warne), is to become a Sir in the new years honours list. We just hope he gets some elocution lessions for crimbo before he says thank you Ma’am, remembering to omit the ‘innit’.

Alongside David and his new centre-parting, Simon Cowell is also odds on for a nod from Lizzie, for services to v-necks, chest rugs and sparkly teeth. The music mogul and Chezza‘s bezzie, is also joined by Bruce Forsythe, who will probably accept his honour on the chin. ARF, geddit?!