The lil’ lesbian with the wig appeared on X Factor last night to whip the crowds into a frenzy and send us all into baby Bieber spasms on Twitter.

Except, he/she didn’t have quite that effect.

The singer’s performance included lip-syncing, some seriously scary ‘this is the lil’ white boy MJ always wanted to be’ moves and a cringe-worthy ‘call me’ hand phone gesture thing to Chezza, which kind of made us gag…..and send Twitter into ‘take the piss’ overdrive.

So here, if unlike us you had nothing better to do that sink a few bottles of vino and shout at the TV screen…it’s the lesbian, the wig and the case of the missing real vocals.

Oh and before we forget, Nicole Shitslinger or whatever her surname is also performed her new single, in some sort of catsuit thing that got Simon‘s penis all worked up, like, as she writhed around in front of him. So now we all know what his face looks like when he gets a private lap dance. Lovely.