As the release says, the gym “will be a reflection of Madonna’s point of view and will reflect her input on every detail including music space, light and other design cues. Madonna’s touch will be everywhere”.

The big unveiling is on November 29 and promises “the very best in innovative training methods, including state of the art cardiovascular equipment, and an array of classes including yoga and capoeira”.

We’re imagining toyboys on hand in skimpy, bulging tight lycra to help you develop sinewy arms that look like they’ve been gnawed at by wild animals; thighs that could crack open a bottle of Vita CoCo with one twist and a stomach so taught even Kylie’s botoxed left eyebrow is jealous. So come work out with Madge. Sort of.

We’re loving the campaign advertising gumpf which says ‘No Sweat, No Candy’ – which basically means bish is going to pump u up while she pumps more money into the bank of MawMaw so she can buy more kids.

We HEART.