Simon Cowell likes vag.

No really. And he’s bedded up to 2,000 of ‘em apparently, according to The Daily Star. See, high waister’s don’t necessarily mean ‘poof who lives with his Mum’.

According to the newspaper, Cowell was a hit with the laydee’s during the 80s and 90s, scoring a huge amount of vag, and not just has-been singer Sinitta’s bucket flaps either (so perhaps she’ll get the f*ck over herself now).

The dirty ole codger told the paper:

“I like women. I just like them. I like flirting and I like to listen”. (Listen, LISTEN?!! Don’t be fooled girls, that’s man speak for try and get in yer pants whilst stroking that furrowed brow).

When a nosey reporter asked why he’s chosen fiance Mezhgan Hussainy as ‘the one’, he said: “She just gets it. You’ve got to understand it, that it’s not serious.

“You mustn’t be uptight, can see the funny side of things when I get down about stuff.”

Anotherwords he’s only in it for the shagfest and don’t expect him to care.